I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
