so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
