how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
