I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
