Kareoke will never be a sober sport
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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