white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
