White coat. Heels.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize