you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
