i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
