well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize