Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
