I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
