I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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