it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
