Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
