I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
