I just made out with a guy for $7.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
