Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
