Having a random hookup so left but love u
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
