Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
