nut hugger
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
