so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
