She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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