I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
