Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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