Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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