I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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