billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
