I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
