Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
