Fuck appropriateness.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i think i just lost a toe
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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