they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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