Well now I have my semen on her headphones
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize