FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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