Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
