Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
