Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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