Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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