if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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