My nipple is on Facebook.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
