I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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