maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
