is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
