Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
