listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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