im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
