If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
