I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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