I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
