Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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