Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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