my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
