So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
