I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
