Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
