I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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