I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
