hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
