the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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