If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
