that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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