When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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