Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
