Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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