you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
