So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize