So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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