My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
