You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
