nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
