I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need to sanitize my soul.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize