I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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