How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
