found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
